God-Mart

Then one day at church Pastor Don called me up from the congregation with a bunch of others and said, "Alfonso, you need to be filled with the Holy Ghost and power." That sounded true so I told him to pray away. Before long I was on the ground (Don must have thought I could receive more laying down because he shoved me over with the other people). Next thing I knew people were making strange noises, crying, yelling, laughing and hooting it up. I'm shy so I just lay there and remained quiet. When Don saw me he told the crowd that I was in a spiritual rest and God was healing me and setting me free from my inhibitions. "Oh, I didn't know that.  Cool."

 Then I met Pastor Ann. She told me I needed to be straightened out.  My faith was built on invalid input.  She said the Way to Christ was through her church, the universal all inclusive church, so I did what she said. After a few months there I thought maybe it was time to get a 2nd opinion. It seemed like every week something was changing or being added or taken away or a new "word of the Lord" would come and to get us on track. I never knew God ran the church on a track but I guess He does. I checked out the yellow pages and found there were many more choices than Pastor Ann's and Pastor Don's churches. There were 100s. Actually, there were over 30,000 denominations I could choose from. A new revelation: The church has become Wal-Mart. It doesn't matter what you want, the church has it. There are more departments and specials than you can shake a stick at, if you are into shaking sticks. I've met some people who hold sticks and find water under ground, but I hear that's from the demons!  Better stay away from the sticks.

So I went down to God-Mart and you wouldn't believe all the things I've found. You can believe almost anything you want and find confirmation at the store that it's real, valid and true. There's a retro department so if you should take something off the shelf and not get it to work correctly you can just go back in time and have it updated and upgraded and make it appropriate for today and give it another try. There's even a 2nd-hand department. If you don't want to go to the trouble of breaking in what you put on, you can have someone else do it for you and then take it from them and make it your own. The part I liked best was the recycle department. It was in there I found what Pastor Don was talking about and Pastor Ann too. Those things they told me, I found out, had been around for at least a 100 years and had just been updated with new music, modern words and people that looked just like the people on TV and in the movies. They are so cool with their trendy clothes and body art--it just makes me more in love with God to know such cool people follow Him and I can follow Him just like they do.  I can be myself.  

As time has gone by, lots of it, I've been to God-Mart a lot.  One of the things that's so wonderful is you can take things back and exchange them. I went to one church where Pastor Hurley would get a word of knowledge about people in the audience having a back ache.  With 2500 people in the audience that was a safe call and he'd have them come up for prayer cause he said God wanted to heal all of them.  He'd pray and sway and then say, "Be heeeeeeealed" and then tell them to jump up and down.  Actually they didn't have to jump down--gravity did that part.  Then he'd have 'em wave their hands and before long everyone in the building was cheering and clapping.  The folks would then be sent back to their seats and we'd give our tithes.  I thought it was kind of strange that every week many of the same people would get healed again.  I stayed with them for a while but I took it back for an exchange. 

We all know there isn't really a God-Mart, but when you look at post Reformation religion, you find it's starting to become that way.  Whatever you want to believe, there's a denomination, a building program and a place for you.  If you don't like the one you are in, it's easy to just leave and find a new one.  The challenge of course is finding the one that believes the way you believe. One solution many of my friends have found is to just not go to church at all.  That way they don't get caught up in the politics and building programs and they have their Sundays off as a true day of rest.  Let's face it--getting the kids ready and then racing off to Sunday School and church can be a chore.  Another solution is to just settle for what you got and make the best of it.  "They don't really teach all I  think is correct, but they are good people and my kids are happy."  "Besides, as long as they believe in Jesus that should be enough for anyone."

Jackie and I have gone to the God-Mart churches I mentioned in real life.  Names are changed, obviously, but the churches were real and the events true.  We played God-Mart for 35 years and have recently turned in our God-Mart card and converted to Orthodoxy.  A couple of years ago I had this strong urge in my soul to become more and more like Christ.  I've failed so far but I'm trying.  Yes, I know about doing things in God's strength.  Anyway, this desire started to chase me in a direction I'd never been before in 35 years of church hopping and planting.  It chased me away from the Protestant religion completely.  Not Christ.  It chased me to Orthodoxy.  When I told Jackie she was skeptical, to say it mildly.  She thought I'd lost my mind at times but then we kept praying and seeking and asking questions and challenging Priests about their thoughts until we finally came to the conclusion that it was us that needed to change--not the Church and not the Priest.  We'd been judges for 35 years--"I didn't like the sermon" or "The worship was good this week--they got a new leader for the team."  I found that I wanted worship to be this way or that way and the preacher to say it this way or that way which basically amounted to being nothing more noble than self-love.  Worship isn't for me--it's for God.  What difference should it make how I want it?  The question should always be:  "Is this what God meant when He said to worship in Spirit and truth?"  The Protestants can't even decide amongst themselves what that means.  To a charismatic it may mean speaking in tongues and to a Baptist it may mean singing one of the old hymns that gives you goose bumps.  What's up with that?  For many others it's about the fog machine, the lights, the decibels of the music and if the jeans have holes in the correct places.  I'm not questioning sincerity.  I just want "Spirit and Truth" to come to the front of what we are doing.

It's not a problem in the Orthodox church.  They claim by the historical documents they've hung onto since the 1st century that the Apostles told them what it meant and how to do it so that's what they do.  Their worship service is not hip; it is not retro; there are no exchanges made and it's hard to get fat because they insist on fasting about half the time.  They haven't signicantly changed their services since the 300s.  Of course like any church, there are those who just go for the appearance so it certainly isn't the perfect church you are looking for.  But it's sure different from any Protestant church you've been to.

What's this have to do with becoming like Christ?  For me, I found a whole new set of tools I can use to address the inadequacies in my life, the things that hinder my walk with Christ and attaining to His fulness.  Will I make it?  Will I get there?  I'm just happy being able to call myself an "unprofitable servant" at this point.  And you know what I think?  That's what we'll all call ourselves the day we meet Him face to face--if we have any sense, that is.  So maybe there is progress being made.